Jonathan Coulton - Todd The T1000

Song Rating: 8.20/10

Song lyrics:

Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call Jane
Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldnt complain
Lately shed been getting tangled up in the shag rug
And finally one wheel just wouldnt spin
So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in

This new ones kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grin
Hes head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skin
Sometimes hell stand for hours looking into the mirror
And flexing like some guy at the gym
And Im easily ten inches shorter than him

Todd the T1000 scares me
I dont think he knows Ive got a right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
And when I look over he is making a fist
One finger at a time

I ask him if hell vacuum and he doesnt respond, but I know that he heard
I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that Im gone and he flips me the bird
I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom
But I dont think Im safe anywhere
When I wake in the dark I can tell that hes there

Todd the T1000 scares me


I dont think he knows Ive got a right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
And when I look over he is making a fist
One finger at a time

So I live like a ghost while hes living like me
Its not my house anymore
And I sneak out the door while hes watching TV
Head down to the cyborg store
I get some new arms installed at the store
Buy the biggest ones I can
Head back to my house, Todd answers the door
He sees more than just a man

My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left ones a saw
I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV with my big smashy claw
Hes standing still and silent, I cant tell what hes thinking
He blinks a single glowing red eye
So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry

Todd the T1000 scares me
But I think he knows Ive got right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
But when he looks over I am making a fist
One finger at a time

Date of text publication: 17.01.2021 at 00:31